Loincloths vs Cassocks

Once upon a time one of my friends, JH, got it into his head that he wanted to DM a campaign for our D&D group. I was our usual DM, but I was extra busy and we were at a good place to put my campaign on hold for a few weeks, so figured we’d let him have a shot.

The main bad guys in his game were some sort of cult of evil monks. We never really found out what they were all about because of events I’ll explain shortly.

The important thing you need to know is this: Our adventuring party got attacked several times by enemies JH described as “monks dressed in loincloths.” So, we pretty much had something like this in our minds:


What we didn’t know is that JH didn’t actually know what a “loincloth” is.  This is what he had in mind, and was calling “a loincloth”:

0 T

Obviously, we were on a collision course for a train wreck at some point.  And it happened the worst way possible.

We encountered a pair of the monks on a road, and as we were getting ready for another fight, JH attempted to reveal them as not really evil monks, but allies who were in disguise, and (probably) had plot information for us.

So what he said was “The monks suddenly rip off their loincloths … revealing a fully dressed wizard and warrior underneath.

I’ll leave you to form your own mental image of a fully dressed wizard and warrior underneath two monks’ loincloths.  We cracked up. We cracked up completely.  And JH had no idea WHY.  And we couldn’t stop laughing. We were, literally, ROTFLing.  JH was pretty sensitive to embarrassment, especially since it was his first time DMing, and everyone was laughing uncontrollably, and couldn’t stop or even tell him why.

There was no going back. That was the end of his first campaign.  As far as I know, he didn’t even try to DM for at least a decade after that. In retrospect, I feel somewhat bad about it, but I’m cracking up again remembering it, so I guess I don’t feel too bad.

Hope you enjoyed a random D&D memory!


4 comments on “Loincloths vs Cassocks

  1. tsluf273 says:

    I’m reminded of when our squad inadvertently unleashed a cloud of deadly nerve gas in a WW2 Gurps campaign. Good times, good times…


  2. Dean Esmay says:

    The special moments just for you and a few friends that you get to keep forever as a memory: the best thing about D&D.

    I so wish I could get another game going. My last group exploded sadly.


  3. robalspaugh says:

    What a great memory. Thanks for reminding me of all my group’s gust-busters over the years as well. Makes me think about getting the gang back together.


  4. Jason says:

    Thank you for the laugh 🙂


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